My Thoughts On the Decline of International Adoption





My thoughts on this article about the decline in international adoptions to the U.S.
https://apnews.com/41468655f4a348398c1fee99fe3a444e


The cost of adoption is high, and frankly, I believe it always has been. We have been adopting since 1998, and our first was a domestic adoption. We have 6 adopted children, and I really think that end the end the process cost just about the same for each one. I agree that the high cost is definitely a deterrent from adopting internationally, but I also think that there are many people who could afford to adopt and just don’t. This is why I advocate mostly to people who have already adopted, because they have seen their children’s lives transformed, they have seen what is being left behind and what is gained. They will sacrifice, fundraise, do whatever it takes to change one more child’s life. I, too, know of families that have fully paid for their adoptions through fundraising. It’s not a fun or easy thing to do, but they persevere.  What I am more concerned about is the families who want to sacrifice and fundraise to bring a child home, and who are told they can’t now because of the lack of waivers. It is so disheartening to see families come forward to adopt a precious child you have been advocating for only to find out that they no longer qualify because of income, BMI, family size, etc. And, too, those who have PA that have them taken away! This boggles my mind!!

I do think it is interesting in this article the reasons they list for the changes in numbers: Unethical Agencies, yes there are some out there, but other agencies have been working with them for years, and have placed thousands of children (I am speaking mostly of China here.) Lack of post-placements done. This is our fault as families. The post-placements are usually pre-paid, so it’s not a matter of cost. We have agreed as parents in advance to do these. Some families just decide that they don’t want to do them once their child is home, and they know it isn’t going to cause their child to be taken back. But it does obviously have and effect on adoptions at large and the trust between countries. The third reason was re-adoptions in the U.S.. Sometimes replacements have to happen. I know of one family that needed to do this, and it was the very best thing for the child and the families involved. However, it happens too often. Disruptions in country, meaning that people go to the country to pick up their child and change their minds once they have seen the child because of undisclosed medical issues that they don’t think they can handle, or behavioral issues (which are often because of the trauma of the huge change that is happening in their lives, and not long term) happen way more often than we think. Interestingly, these are not listed in the statistics you see online because most agencies don’t disclose that information.

So, yes, it is a shame that the cost of adoption is so high, and that there is greed and politics that keep these sweet babies from coming home, but it’s also us. More people who can afford to adopt need to, or need to support those financially that are willing to but don’t have enough funds. Agencies need to be ethical, as do adoptive parents in filling out paperwork. Potential adoptive families also need to do their homework in researching which agency to use ahead of time. There is a FB group called, "Rate Your China Adoption Agency" that is extremely helpful for choosing an agency to adopt from China, and I know there are many seasoned adoptive families out there that would love to give their recommendations if asked.

Parents also need to seriously consider what they are up for before they send in a Letter of Intent for a particular child that they want to adopt. There are always unknowns in the adoption world. It’s important to do a lot of self examination about what it would take for you to leave a child behind in China, or cause you to re-place a child once home. Then there is the waiver issue. In addition to the changes that need to be made above, this one is going to take a lot of prayer. If you pray, then pray that these restrictions will be changed, and soon so that the numbers of children that are brought home to families doesn’t continue to drop.

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