Brain Fog

Have you ever seen, “Joe Vs. the Volcano?” Remember that Joe’s big problem was that he had a “Brain Fog”? Well, I just realized that I, too, have had a brain fog! For like almost two and a half years!! I didn’t actually know that I was in a brain fog until I came out of it in the last day or so. I think the fog started long ago, and then became even more dense once I started down the adoption path in Spring of 2016 when we decided to bring home Annie and Wyatt. Things have been in a whirlwind since then with getting through their process, then moving to a different state within weeks of their homecoming. Then not long after settling in to our new surroundings, we decided to bring home our girls, and down the paper trail/emotional rollercoaster we travelled once again. Did I mention that I have a son with Autism that doesn’t do well with change? That, too. 

So, yesterday I just got tired of all of the pictures that were taped over our entire house. For the last couple of years I let Jason display his beautiful artwork on our walls and refrigerator. In fact, I probably came up with the idea and put up the first few myself. Then EVERY picture had to go on the wall, and no I could NOT take down even one of his beloved, special pictures. It was kind of hard to tell his new siblings when they came along that their pictures were not worthy to be displayed on our walls as well, so frequently those were added, too. Every day there was a need for more tape to hang up another picture. Tape is always fun to scrape off of the wall, by the way! Getting back to yesterday, I finally just had it with the pictures! Every room, including the bathroom and laundry room had at least a few hanging. I had broached the topic of taking some down not long before, thinking I could just remove a few at a time, but the idea seemed to cause Jason so much emotional turmoil, that I nixed the idea. I suddenly decided, though, that I would just take them ALL down and deal with the consequences all at once. I actually mentioned it to him the morning of the big clean up when I could tell he was in the right frame of mind for it, and while he was upset about it, he wasn’t too upset. That seemed like a big green light for me! So, once he got on the school bus, it was time to put operation, “Take all five hundred pictures off of the wall” into action. While it wasn’t a fun task, I will say it was quite satisfying to start seeing more of our walls and the front of our refrigerator once again. 

After the big job was done I looked around and realized that our house was starting to look like a real house again! I think that, and the fact that it has now been six months since we brought our two newest littles home, is what began the lifting of my brain fog. I was able to look around and really see things that needed to be done that either I just hadn’t noticed in my state of fog, or didn’t have the gumption to do. With the fog lifted, my new vision, and sudden gumption, I continued my craze of cleaning and organizing off and on for the rest of yesterday and today. I sent hubby to the store to get some stuff part way through and said, “You’d better get it now while I’m in the frame of mind to do this, cause you never know how long it will last, or when it will come back again!” 

One funny side to this story is that while I was doing my second day of massive clean up, I went into what would be the dining area, but is where our piano sits, and as I pushed the vacuum across the room, I noticed a puddle next to our vent on the floor. Right away I knew just what it was, and who had done it (no, not the dog, and not Jason this time!) I called this particular child into the room and said, “Child” have you been peeing in the vents? After a couple of “No’s”, I finally got a “Yes”, and an explanation that said child sometimes could not find a bathroom (we have three!) or something to that affect. Dad was called in. Other things were found shoved in the vents around the room. Discussion followed. Sigh. 

Thankfully Jason was not too disturbed to see his beloved pictures gone from the walls. Dad came up with a great idea for keeping a couple of frames to switch out from time to time with his newest artwork. Hopefully my brain fog will stay cleared up for a while. (I might even contemplate taking the children somewhere besides Costco or the library by myself!) But if it decides to return, at least I got enough done in the last two days to last for a good long while. And I can see my walls! And I hid the tape!