I Got This!

Several years ago, back when I only had a few children, I remember going to have lunch with a friend. I was telling her how arduous it was to take the kids to their various lessons in different parts of town, often having to wait for them each time before they would jump back in the car for the drive home. I was describing to her how I felt like I spent a good portion of my life in the car as a chauffeur. My thought at the time was that ‘back in the day’ kids didn’t have all of these sports practices, music lessons, etc. They walked three miles to school and back uphill both ways, came home and did chores, finished their homework, ate and went to bed. My friend's reaction to my grievances? “Well, didn’t you know you were going to be doing that when you decided to become a parent?” Of course, my really great comebacks didn’t come to me until much later after lunch was well over. What I wish I could have said was, “Why yes, and I also knew I would be cleaning up blow out diapers and catching my children’s throw up in my hands, but that doesn’t mean that I have to have a big smile on my face and a thumbs up while I doing them!” 

Now that we have added several children to our family, I actually spend very little time in the car going places, and our particular group of children seem to thrive on spending as much time as possible at home when not at school. So, while my chauffeuring days are pretty much over for now, having a large group of children of similar ages at home with various special needs can create its own challenges. I am not going to lie, it’s often hard. Like very hard. But here is what makes it even harder. You see as an adoptive parent I am not allowed to complain. I just know the, “Well, you chose this!” is just waiting behind someone's lips, if not at least in their thoughts. Yes, I chose this, and yes, I would choose it again and again. But I need to be able to tell you that it is hard and that I am weary, without your judgment and without fear of painting a bad picture of adoption itself. Because otherwise, I will keep this all to myself. You will only get a mask, the one I put on to let you know that everything is great and that I have it all under control.