The Door Called Adoption

Something is so intriguing to me about this door. It’s so beautiful and inviting. It says, “Come in and see what’s on the other side!” But how do I know if what is actually on the other side will make me glad that I opened that door? Maybe it will be a room full of light, and comfort, with interesting and beautiful things that will make me glad that I stepped forward. Or maybe what I open the door to will resemble nothing of what I saw on the outside. What if it’s cold and dark? What if the decor speaks of neglect and casts shadows that I don’t want to approach. Or even worse, what if I find something frightening inside, something that terrifies me that makes me want to escape as quickly as possible? Or what if when I go to open the door to leave it is locked, and there is no escape!

What if this door is adoption. It’s intriguing! Some have been through the door and have loved what they have found there. Others have entered and found that it in no way met their expectations, and left quickly in dismay. Some have been through the same door and were utterly terrified by what they saw. And others, though terrified, were unable to leave. 

Why are you going through the door? Because it is attractive and you are sure that whatever is on the other side must be as well? A friend has been on the other side and they loved it? You have been through a similar door, you say. So, the interior must be filled with the same wonderful things that you experienced before?

What if you are not made of the same stuff as that friend who has ventured to the other side. What if the lens that they use to view everything around them is very different than yours? That similar door that you have already been through? What if this room doesn’t match up to the one you last experienced? You find it disappointing in comparison and wish you had never come? And what if you go through the door and are never able to come back out? 

This door called adoption is beautiful. But on the other side is such a vast array of humanity that cannot be put into a box of comparison. Each and every child is different. Each has their own story. We as parents are also so very different, with different strengths and weaknesses. We each have our own story as well, our own baggage that we carry with us throughout life that directs how we perceive things and how we act upon them. The combination of children and parents is an equation that will vary every single time. 

Are you prepared to step through that door, no matter what you might find on the other side? Are you ready to be pleasantly surprised with the beautiful things that you find, and to look past the cobwebs and shadows to what the potential of the room on the other side might be? Are you willing to put on your gloves and help scrub away the grime that is covering the hidden treasure beneath the surface? Maybe you won’t need to, but there is a good chance that you will. And the locked door won’t matter if it’s a place that you find you want to stay no matter what condition it’s in to begin with. Because you know that if you wait long enough, you might get to see the room transformed into something glorious.