PROVISIONS

You know how you can read a passage from the Bible over and over for years, and then suddenly read it again and see it in such a different light? I was reading from the Bible this morning about how we are not to be anxious about our lives, in what we will eat or drink, because even as the Lord provides for the birds of the field, he will take care of our every need. How worrying doesn’t add to the span of our lives. Instead, we are to seek His kingdom, and He will make sure that all we need is provided for.

I have always read this passage nodding my head mentally, as I truly believe and have seen how God provides for our family financially as we step out in faith and trust Him. And honestly, my husband has been the one to carry this burden and to trust God against his better judgement when looking at bringing yet another child home. So now we have this awesome bunch, and sure enough, God has more than provided for financial resources to care for them. A good job for my husband with great insurance for all of the kids’ needs. Plenty of food on the table, and more than enough to clothe them all with. 

But what about physically? What about emotionally? Hubby and I are in our 40’s and 50’s. Despite the artificial color that covers up my grey, my body is starting to let me know that I am no longer a spring chicken. We have both been blessed up to this point with fairly good health, but as we are getting up there, will that hold up? Especially, when we are talking about some kiddos in our home who might require long term care. 

And emotionally! Oh my! There is a saying that goes, you are only as happy as your least happy kid. With six kids with various physical and emotional needs, it’s a rare day that every single one of them is in a good place for the entire day. At an age when we could be close to retirement, our oldest two already out of the home, instead we daily deal with trauma, rages, needy children, and just plain drama. Not to say that this is all there is! No, there is sooo much good. But truly it can be hard, and physically and emotionally draining to the point where my husband and I just look at each other and think, how can we do this? Or how long can we do this?

So, this is where the lightbulb went on for me this morning. God provides and will continue to provide for our every need. He will give us each day and beyond what we need to not only ‘deal’ with these children that He has given to us, but to love them, care for them, and even receive joy from them - maybe not every day, but enough to sustain us. One thing that I do need to do more faithfully is to redirect my thoughts towards Him. As we redirect our children away from something they shouldn’t be doing, or focusing on, I need to redirect my thoughts and my heart away from fear and discouragement, and focus on Him, knowing that He is going to give me enough emotional and physical strength to make it through parenting these beautiful gifts. If only we seek Him above all things.

“But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a child quieted at its mother's breast; like a child that is quieted is my soul.”